I sent a belated birthday greeting to an old friend of mine this morning by email but when it was returned as no such user I discovered that he died twelve and a half months ago.

I didn’t keep our last email exchanges.  I didn’t see much point.  Now, I wish I had if only to piece together the time from our last contact and his last breath.  I’m sure it was only a few weeks, maybe less.  He had told me he was not long for this world.  And I suppose somehow I knew the truth in his words but there really wasn’t anything more to say or do.  I tried to send him a birthday greeting last year.  I couldn’t find the words.  I also tried to send him a New Year’s greeting but again I found myself mute – and perhaps a little scared to find him no longer on the receiving end.

There comes a time when you have to accept life as it is and death, or imminent death, as well.  SPF was a hopeless romantic.  He was also brilliantly intelligent – a high achiever with a huge heart.  If he truly died in his sleep as his obituary claims, then I will count him among the lucky few.

His obit said he will be remembered for his worldwide environmental work, his generosity and his sense of humour.  He climbed the highest mountains in the world and, through his work, he achieved more than most could ever dream to.  I asked him how I would know if he died and he said he would let me know.  In the end we all die alone but I dearly hope he knew in his heart that he was not unloved, even if he might have thought that to be true.

It’s easy to take inspiration from people who’ve been immortalized by history books and film.  Yet we encounter people every day who, sometimes stumbling along the way, steadfastly make lasting contributions to this world far beyond their home and family.  SPF was one of those people.  His convictions toward environmental and social justice sent him to the far corners of the world and he worked with unending integrity.  His work brought inspiration and focus to my early professional development; and his love and friendship was strong and true.  I will remember SPF with much love and respect – with all of his flaws and all of his gifts, and all of his being.

As facilitators and bridge-builders, establishing and maintaining networks is a core function of a community developer. So, why would I question becoming over connected? Social media tools can vastly expand our networks but is it possible to become so connected, so caught up in maintaining or monitoring these connections, that we lose sight of our effectiveness? I do use clouds and sites to share photographs, transfer documents, join webinars, write blogs and correspond — and I have occasionally walked along the edges of, peeked in or explored a few popular social networks.  For the most part though, I avoid those networks and tools that reduce my efforts to one-finger typing, thumb scrolling, and soundbites. Why? I suppose it’s a personal choice. I stay connected personally and professionally by asking myself the following questions:

• Who is important to me?
• What is the nature of my communication-networking-exchange-sociality-community needs?
• What do I need from my communication tools?  What don’t I need?
• How much time do I have for social networking and how can I best use my time?
• Can I still reach those people I want to stay connected with, even if we’re not in constant contact?
• Can people still reach me when they need to?
• Which services and networks help maintain good quality connections?

I have come to know that:

• Making and maintaining connections is important
• My circle of friends, relatives, colleagues and clients spans around the world and my life is richer as a result
• Relationships are not static; some connections will thrive and others will disappear
• My circle has expanded beyond my capacity to stay actively connected with everyone regularly

I’m not always good at keeping in touch — that does not mean I’ve forgotten or I don’t care. I have emailed colleagues and friends after 10 years and they have responded in kind, rekindling those connections.  It actually happens quite frequently and I am ecstatically happy these connections and friendships still exist.

On that level, this community developer can never be over connected!

p.s. There are 800+ top social networks, apps and digital services available to us according to Craig Smith (expandedramblings.com, June 29, 2015). Wow!

There is an infinite supply of blogs, websites and videos floating out there, vying for our attention on all topics imaginable. Many are bloated moments uploaded as an instant diversion but many others are amazingly informative, insightful and inspiring.

I confess that I spend too many hours passively watching, reading and sometimes listening to a variety of online sites. I wouldn’t keep doing it if I didn’t benefit in some way. Am I ever motivated by those linked in experts? creatives? emerging leaders? and not-so-famous bloggers?

Sometimes … but they rarely sustain me through to action, even if they do have a 1-2-3 list or an engaging message. 

It’s the same thing with all the networks I subscribe to or attend. Please don’t misunderstand. They hold great value for learning, meeting new people, broadening my horizons…. However, there comes a time when one needs to exit cybersphere, curb the café chats, and delve into work. And when I need a thoughtful nudge or a jolt of reality, I have my real-life coaches, mentors and advisors (CMAs).

My CMAs are peers and colleagues with whom I purposefully explore and share…

ideas, ambitions, experiences and more.

What’s so special for me is the face to face interaction with people who know and care about each other. My CMAs are talented, generous, and helpful. As peer CMAs, one-on-one or in small groups:

1. We come together with a common sense of purpose
2. We create a gentle support base with a sense of accountability
3. We all have valuable life-work experiences to contribute
4. We trust and respect each other
5. We observe ethics of confidence on personal matters
6. We are creative and we have a lot of fun

Moving beyond the words, videos and networks — we inspire each other, we work together, and we free ourselves up to produce some amazing work within our professional and artistic endeavours.  How do we do this, exactly? Here are a few examples:

• Ask probing questions without judgement
• Offer alternative perspectives
• Develop and work through creative problem solving exercises
• Explore new places together and get the blood moving
• Listen actively and openly
• Observe, edit, give constructive feedback
• Work silently on our own projects, together
• Celebrate breakthroughs

Who is your peer mentor? Your real-life coach? Your true colleague?

 And how do they help to motivate you into action?